Attitude by Ky Soumpholphakdy The difference in values and attitudes between one generation and the next is an on-going dilemma in this society. I will focus on an attitude of adolescent's generation have toward their parents these days. The story I am about to tell is my own observation of Lao youth that I came across over the years. These people are smart in very sense of the words, but lack moral attitude. Children should be polite and respectful to their elder, especially parents. I thought it was an isolated issue, but then I know better. I begin to really observe what has going on around me. I became more aware of the problem that are happening to the family of Khon Lao. Many parents are losing control of their children. I was deeply moved by the suffering I saw all around. Many children are out of control. Its no sadder than to see children speaking to their parent without any respect what so ever. Any thoughts, speech or actions are fill with greed, hatred and delusion. Its disturbing to hear the child's voice is much louder than of those parents when conversing. Sometime, I can hardly tell whom the child or whom the father or mother in the family behind the close door. I thought it was language problem, because many Lao youths could not communicate effectively with the parents in Lao or English language. That s not a case at all. It is clear to me that is a discipline problem. This pattern of behavior is more noticeable these days. The parents are crying out for help right now. Not long ago, it would be a major disgrace and embarrassment to the family for revealing this nightmare about their child. Some parent could not give any disciplinary training to their kids any more. Take this one family for example, the parents was trying to gave some punishment (a couple of whack on the bottom) to a twelve years old child for wrong doing, then 10 minutes later the police show up at the door for 911 child abuse call. It is a growing trend now. I do not know if the child was smart or stupid to called a cop on his parent. Today, I know that kid was too smart for his own good, because the same attitude that he had toward his parents that landed him in prison. Many time he made a statement: "You guys did not give any shit about me" and now he knows he was wrong, because on each visiting day there were a couple that brings him a home cook meal. If you are having an attitude problem with your parents - you better think twice before you blown out steam on the people that gave birth to you. I truly believe that bad attitude you have toward your parents will come to haunt you soon or later. If you lucky you might experience when you yourself becomes a parent. Yes! In this case, what go around, do come around. We need help with training that produces moral or mental improvement. Kids need to learn more about controlled behavior through disciplinary training. They should learn how to speak the truth, speak gently and politely and speak at the right time. They need to know what is right or wrong...they need help with developing a deep self-awareness and self-understanding. We need systematic method to obtain obedience. Let give the parents some benefit of a doubt...its not easy raising kids in this modern MTV era. They are doing their best not to work two jobs to support their family, so that they can have some qualities' time with their children. They are doing their best not to let the TV raise their children after school. I am seeing this going on a lot in my area. One parent asked me "Do you know what is good about having a lot of children?" Of course, I gave him all kind of answer, but the one he gave me was the mind bothering--"At least, I know that Ill get a few good one." From that day onwards, I think about that Q & A all the time. I am very concerning about the negative attitude children have toward their father and mother. Thats why the longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company..a relationship...a temple...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play the one string we have, and that is our attitude..I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And, so it with you...we are in charge of our ATTITUDE. And yes, it might just take you places. PS. Its just a one man observation. Pls. understand! I am not making a generalization of Lao youth across the land or pretend to be an expert in family counseling. I am purely states what I have had experienced in the East Coast, USA. ******************************************************** Phoukong K. Soumpholphakdy National Institutes of Health Division of Computer Research & Technology SoumphoK@magic.dcrt.nih.gov 80Soumpholph@cua.edu kyao@helix.nih.gov http://www.geocities.com/Athens/4913/index.html "We fight, get beat, rise and fight again" - Nathanael Greene *********************************************************