PARENTING TIPS FROM A TO Z

                  From the book Positive Discipline A to Z

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“My child refuses to take a nap, but she gets so tired and cranky by 5:00
that everyone is miserable. Sometimes she falls asleep by 5:30 or so and
then wakes up raring to go around 8:00. Then bedtime becomes a nightmare.
How do I get her to take a nap when I know she needs one?”

Understanding Your Child, Yourself, and the Situation
Children resist sleep, not because they don’t need it, but because they
don’t want to miss out on anything as they explore their exciting world. It
is important to treat their need for autonomy with dignity and respect
while helping them learn to make choices and follow rules that make life
more enjoyable for themselves and others.

Suggestions
Don’t tell your child she is tired (even though you think she is). Admit
another truth—that you are tired and need a break.

  1. Tell your child she doesn’t have to sleep, but that she has to stay in
     her bed for one hour doing something quiet such as looking at books or
     listening to soft music.
  2. Give her a limited choice, “Do you want to start your nap at 1:00 or
     1:15?”
  3. You may want to take a nap with her. Make it clear that naptime is
     different from bedtime. Tell her you will take a nap with her because
     you need one too, but that you have faith in her to handle sleeping
     alone at bedtime.
  4. Follow through with kindness and firmness. Every time your child gets
     up before naptime is over, gently take her by the hand and lead her
     back to bed. You may have to repeat this twenty or more times for
     several days until she knows you mean what you say.

Planning Ahead to Prevent Future Problems

  1. Establish a routine and stick to it. Naptime can be preceded by five
     minutes of special time to read a story or play a game.
  2. Try making naptime different from bedtime. Allow your child to choose
     a special naptime stuffed animal, a different bed, or a different
     blanket.

Life Skills Children Can Learn
Children can learn that their resistance will be treated with dignity and
respect. They can learn that, while they have some choices, they also need
to follow routines that are respectful to everyone.

Parenting Pointers

  1. All children do not need the same amount of sleep. Quiet time may work
     better for some children than naptime. Some are through with napping
     by two or two and one-half years old. Others need naps until they
     start kindergarten.
  2. Children enjoy routines and should be involved in setting them up. Use
     questions and limited choices to find out what your child thinks will
     work.

Real Life Example
Michelle, one of our employees, was struggling to get her
two-and-a-half-year-old boy to take a nap. She decided to try the quiet
time suggestion instead of a nap. She and Riley set the timer for one hour
and agreed that Riley could either take a nap or spend one hour of quiet
time in his room. On the very first try Riley stayed in his room the entire
hour, except for one break for a drink of water. A couple of days later
Riley decided to test the system and repeatedly came out of his room during
the first few minutes of his quiet time. Michelle told him that if he came
out anymore she would assume he would rather take a nap than have quiet
time. When Riley came out of the room again, she kindly but firmly was able
to get him to fall asleep. Riley is still learning the boundaries of this
new system, but both he and Mom feel much more empowered and respected.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
                 [Image]Send comments to Empowering People.

 [Free Newsletter || Articles || Workshops || Lectures || Products || Home]