In Saying Goodbye

Cleaning out years of accumulated material memories, 
I say goodbye to my childhood home.
15 years ago, 
Alaska was celebrating its 25th anniversary of statehood.  
That was 1984.
It will be 1999 and the state turns 40.
In 15 more years, I will be nearly 40.
What will I accomplish in the 15? 
Will I merely age, yet staying constant in mind and soul?
Or will I learn the secrets to attaining happiness and balance in life?
A question most pressing, because the hardest goodbye of 1998
was one last goodbye not realized..

In missing Grandma,
there are moments still when a sudden wave of grief falls over me.
For comfort, I envision her big smile, and understand she had left 
for a better place where her pain is soothed.

That goodbye to her that late September afternoon, I did not know
it was to be the last.
I peered over my shoulder, stealing a final glimpse of her face
and saying goodbye, I closed the door behind.

Live each day like it were the last,
And always say your goodbyes.

Soudary Kittivong
January 7, 1999