SatJaDham presents: "CRABS" by Alisak Sanavongsay "We have a sponsor in France," my dad told us one night. We were finally going to leave Refugee Camp Ubon, in Northeast Thailand. We were all happy that night, but for different reasons. I was just happy that we were going somewhere. My younger brother and sister were too busy keeping their noses dry to care why we were happy; they were just happy because we were. My parents were happy that they were going to be able to give their children a better life than what they had. I was only six years old back then so I thought, "What could be better than hunting for geckos and lizards with my slingshot, or playing marbles with my friends, or running around naked in the heavy monsoon rains?" Nonetheless, I was happy that we were going to France. I was finally going to be reunited with my best friend who is the son of my dad's best friend who is the husband of my mom's best friend. We were all best friends and we were all going to see each other again. To this day, I still have not seen my best friend. We were getting ready to go to France when we received news that we also had a sponsor in the United States. My parents thought long and hard. At times, I could see tears running down their faces. They decided that we would have a better life in America. I don't know how they came to that conclusion, but that decision was the turning point of our lives. We arrived in the United States in January of 1979 in a town in eastern Tennessee, called Kingsport. Our sponsors rented a house for us, but we didn't stay there long. The heater quit on us. So, we were moved to another apartment. That was when we started getting fused into American life. I started kindergarten. My younger brother and sister learned how to use Kleenex tissues. My mom took English courses and learned American cooking. My dad got a job. The typical AMERICAN family. Looking back, it seems that we all had better lives, except for my dad. He was the one who was out working. His only means of transportation was a bicycle. It was hard for him to get a decent job because he could only speak Lao and French. Back in Laos, he was "khru" Seme, respected teacher. Here, he was breaking his back for two-something dollars per hour to support the family. After about six months in Kingsport, we moved to a suburb of Chicago to reunite with other members of the Bane Thasano clan. There were not a lot of Lao people so we became acquainted with almost everyone there. Although we were from different areas of Laos, it was as if we were one extended family, everyone helping each other. We did not have much, but we had each other. If one person had a car, that meant that the others would be assured of some transportation. Everyone stuck together. I remember my dad telling me about how they got jobs back then. Some of his friends were welders, but they couldn't read English. So they would go around the back of the place in question. If there was scrap metal lying around there was a good chance they might need welders. If one of them got hired, he can usually talk the employer into hiring his friends also. Those were the good ole days. We lived together, ate together, worked together. I guess it was because we had no choice. Most of us couldn't afford cars. We all depended on each other in this foreign land. We needed everyone to make us whole. As the years passed more Lao people arrived, and more job opportunities became available. We became more independent from each other. Then, some people started to feel crowded and moved away. So we became more and more distant. We didn't need each other that much anymore. With independence, came its schizophrenic sibling--competition. Competion is good for the overall standard of living, but some people take it too far. That's when the its ugly side surfaces. I watched helplessly as my Lao people split up into warring factions, each wanting what the others had and more. They had become paranoid all of a sudden, thinking everyone else is after their stuff. It has become rarer to see one Lao speaking kindly about another. Before, most would be happy to see their fellow Lao with a brand new car or house. Nowadays, it's more like this: " That damn bastard thinks he's better than me just because he has a new house. Well, I'll show him." All this happened in my seventeen years in the United States. Where will our people be twenty years from now if we keep going at this rate? When I think about the state of our people, I am constantly reminded of a basket of crabs at the supermarket. You put one crab in, it just sits there kind of bored. Put another one in, it gets a little excited. Add ten or twenty more, they all get irritated, scratching and clawing each other. I believe there was some devine intervention involved in the Vietnam War. The gods are testing the strength of the Lao soul to see how long we can last outside our motherland. They have allowed the demons to take over our country. It is bad medicine -- if it doesn't kill us, it will make us stronger. The strong (mind and body) will one day unite and reclaim Laos and make it a much better place, and the crabs will end up in someone's STEAMER. If you have any comments please post them here on SCL or email to laolit@tuddy.cc.monash.edu.au. hak phaang, Alisak. ***************************************************************** Bane Thasano in Cyber Laos http://www.mtsu.edu/~nond005f *****************************************************************