>From kongkeo@sonic.net Wed May 15 09:40:07 1996 Date: Wed, 15 May 1996 09:39:15 -0700 (PDT) From: Kongkeo Saycocie To: Satjadham Subject: Re: SALUTATION TO THE LAO YOUTHS (fwd) Satjadham presents: Seeing within one's own confines By Kongkeo Saycocie The following story happened a year ago; yet, its impact is still lingering with me up until now. Let me begin... One afternoon under the sweltering Summer sun, two bright and energetic University of California students (recently graduated) attracted a quite noticeable crowd. Among them were a number of Americans. Because of an event occuring within another event, the Baci ceremony turned out to be dry and out of touch especially to the young. Besides, at this ever-growing gathering, they spoke English, a language the young was comfortable with. As the event was taking place right where I sat, I couldn't help but lending an ear to it. Maybe, it was a big crowd or maybe it was steamingly hot; the discussion turned out to be louder and more vicious as time ticked away. Soon, it was an outright attack against the elders, against the other Lao. As I remembered, the main points of these two's arguments centered around the so-called laziness, the supertitious, and the getting-no-where of the elders as well as the other Lao. I saw that everyone either nodded in agreement or smiled at their statements. Being a quiet and even submissive type of a person (at least at that time), I just let their words fly by. I even thought of leaving the scene when my little son started to whine. Suddenly, out of nowhere, one stream of words flew like a high velocity bullet piercing through my ears and then down to my sensitive heart: "Lao culture sucks." "Is that so?" My first word came out before I knew what I said. "Tell me who supports you through your college education? Who do you turn to when you have nowhere to turn? Who nourishes your heart and soul until they are strong? If notfor your superstitious parents? If not for your poor fellow Lao? And if not for this sucking Lao culture of yours? I don't need to tell you what happened next. Both they and I had one's own ideas. They thought they represented progress, modernity, creativity, and all sorts of great sounding words. I, on the contrary, thought that they were reckless, disrespectful and even ignorant. To make the story short, I was pulled out by my wife who ,out of female instinct, came to the rescue. Even at that, I was called a "coward" and even a "Bac" in front of my name. This sort of calling name in regards to people with an advanced age like me was very rude in the Lao culture. My immediate thought was that those two young kids were too much. They didn't have any respect left in regards to Lao culture whatever. What they saw was that Lao culture had nothing of any value. When I asked them if only some aspects of Lao culture that sucked, they emphatically said, "All". It was hard to believe that these bright students couldn't even see any good in their own culture. If what they express, represent the thought of our young; I would say that I am rather pessimistic about what constitutes Lao-ness in this generation. To me, what they see is a product of a Western view which they are educated. They act, speak, and think within the Western frame of mind, and like to be associated with what they perceive as the elite. More, they speak English though they can speak Lao fluently. Why? Because I know them. In fact, I even taught them English when they were at the refugee camp. As for me, I too am restricted to see the world from my own angle. It has both the weakness and the strength. The weakness is with the passage of time, I inevitably lack the sharpness which is associated with the yound mind, but at the same time, time gives me a broad perspective which the young seriously lacks. Taking one step further, I see that I have rarely something in common with the generation before me; we are more or less a world apart. Yes, I could understand their struggles, and share some of their wishes (I am very much attuned to the old generation); but still, I could not really feel deep down in my bones as to how much struggle they have been through and how many dreams they have cherished and let them slipped by. Even worse, when I look at my two kids, they share nothing Lao with me except their skin color and their shyness. On the way home, as my temper cooled down, I thought it was a folly to argue with them. As it is always the case, argument though how convincing it is will never win the opponent's heart. Understanding instead combined with time helps him/her see their own folly. Better yet, if they and I could combine our strength - their youthful vigor and my broad perspective, then we could better help our people. I can see that behind their anger and accusation, they love their people dearly but youthful folly just messes it up. Yes, generation gap is real. To disarm its danger, the old generation has to be more understanding while the young generation needs to pay some respect to the elders. By this way, a perfect balance is reached. As a result, all ourenergy and talent will be effectively channeled to help Muang Lao and Konh Lao. Hak phaang, Kongkeo Saycocie P.S. Any comments? Please email them to or post them at SCL. Thanks! Hak phaang, Kongkeo Saycocie http://www.santarosa.edu/~ksaycoci/kongkeo.html http://www.sonic.net/~kongkeo/Poem.html